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"Quick Chats" published Nov/Dec 2009
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Motorway Maternity

Dad delivered our baby Billy at the wheel

I ran myself a nice deep bath.

‘Lovely’ I sighed.

I was heavily pregnant.

This would be the perfect way to end a hectic day.

I had 3 days until the baby was due.

Best to relax while I still can.

 

My partner, Jamie Ostle 37, was out dropping the kids off at their auntie’s.

I’d just finished my bath when…

‘MY WATER’S BROKEN!’ I shouted out loud.

I had to phone Jamie, quick!

He raced back and called the ambulance.

 

‘It’s 40 minutes to the hospital’ said Jamie.

‘We’ll have to start driving and meet the ambulance half way’ he shouted as he bundled me into the car.

 

After 15 minutes on the road, I didn’t think I could hold the baby in any longer.

‘Quick Jamie! He’s coming out now’ I screamed.

But we were tearing down the motorway still miles from the hospital.

 

‘Catch him, catch him!’ I shouted to Jamie as I felt the baby’s head crowning.

With one hand on the wheel, my brave man twisted round to the front passenger seat.

He caught the baby’s head and calmly drove onto the hard-shoulder.

 

We completed the delivery and wrapped the baby in towels.

We named him Billy.

And in tribute to his father’s heroics, gave him the middle name Jamie.

 

The ambulance found us 10 minutes later.

‘In 15 years on the job, I’ve never seen anything like this before’ the paramedic confessed.

She then took me and my 7lb bundle of joy to Doncaster Royal Infirmary.

 

Baby Billy was healthy.

And the next day we were allowed home and he met his brother and sister, Louie 1 and Lola 3.

 

‘Even if we sell the car, I’ll keep the seat as a souvenir!’ Jamie laughed.

It was terrifying, but an incredible experience to look back on.

We’re overjoyed with Baby Billy and so proud of Jamie… and they say men can’t multi-task!

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D.I.Y. DALEK

I live with a homemade Dalek

‘Exterminate! Exterminate!’

Not again.

Since November, I’ve been living with a Dalek.

When I fell for Rob, 47, ten years ago, I had no idea he was a Doctor Who fanatic.

But two years ago…

 

‘Guess what? They’ve got a build your own Dalek website.’ said Rob as he came running into the kitchen.

‘I’ve always wanted to own a full size one’ he confessed.

‘Are you sure about this? You’re not much of a DIY man’ I laughed.

Famous last words!

 

From then on all I heard from Rob was…

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

Coming from his workshop at all hours.

The workshop that used to be my garden!

‘Let me help too’ cried my son James, 14, when he found out.

Another avid Doctor Who fan.

 

Finally on 13th November, the workshop door swung open.

Out came a full size Dalek.

It was coming towards me and threatening ‘exterminate, exterminate!’

I was expecting an old fridge with a toilet plunger sticking out of it.

But this was really impressive.

 

And so it should be for the £700 he spent on it!

‘It’s got the base of an electric wheelchair with a joystick to control it’ Rob boasted.

‘And a voice modulator and moving eye, made from a magic eightball!’ added James.

But after all the fun, we now have another problem.

Where to keep it?

 

Our house is already crowded, what with James, his sister Becky 21, and our granddaughter Holly 6 months.

We can’t have people to stay anymore as it’s taking up all the space in our spare room.

‘I think you secretly like it’ joked Rob.

Little does he know I’ve got my own plans to exterminate!

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