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Our Humorous Weekly News Round-up: 06/01/2014
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911 call for grandmother who ran out of beer

2014 has already seen its first instance of bizarre beer-related behaviour, in the form of a grandmother from Tennessee who called the police when her beer supply ran out.

On New Year’s Day, having drunk the last of her beers, the grandmother dialled 911. When put through to the police, she is said to have informed them that she had run out of beer, before going on to request a delivery.

Though she denies it, the 68-year-old woman is being charged with misuse of the 911 system, and being given a $50 fine.

Heineken DJ experiment

There’s a fine line between a good scientific experiment and a marketing stunt, and Heineken may have just crossed it.

In an effort to promote responsible drinking, the brewers conducted an (informal) experiment which tested the particular effects of a specific DJ on drinkers in a nightclub setting.

It was found that when DJ Armin van Buuren took to the decks, listeners consumed around 41% less alcohol than clubbers in a similar setting enjoying the performance of a slightly less bopping disc jockey.

The difference was put down to the inclination to dance. Put simply, better disc jockeying led to more dancing, which in turn led to less drinking.

Ricky Rave, an impassioned club-goer said: “This is mind-blowing, man. I just can’t believe the results!”

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Ancient Egyptian brewer discovered in Luxor


Mummy Mia! An Ancient Egyptian brewer has recently been discovered in a tomb in Luxor.

Whilst brewers love to boast of their heritage, most would be hard-pressed to compete with the 3000 years that this one has under his belt, or should that be bandages?

Japanese archaeologists actually discovered the tomb whilst working on that of an official under Pharaoh Amenhotep III, who died around 1354 BC. They found the body of a man who they believe was “head of beer production” in an area surrounded by well-preserved wall paintings depicting daily life.

Security has been tightened following the discovery, and extensive restoration will take place following the complete excavation of the tomb.

Microbrewery in legal hot water

A microbrewery in Missouri has found itself in hot water at the hands of fuming lawyers representing Starbucks. The problem has arisen following the brewery’s humorous use of the Starbucks trademark “Frappucino”.

Exit 6 Pub and Brewery created the beer, named after the famous “Frappucino”, but spelled it slightly differently. Following the sale of only a handful of the beers, the company received notification from the Starbucks legal team that selling of the drink was not to continue.

Standing up against the commercial giant, Jeff Britton, the owner of Exit 6, responded with a sarcastic letter: “Unfortunately it was only similar to the F word because we meant to call it the same thing. Lucky for us, we’re poor spellers.”

He also returned, by post, the $6 profit that had been made on the drink so far.

News on Tap

I Love Good Beer Mag - Jan 2014

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