Are you a chunky knit or a hunky twit? I don’t know exactly what that means… but it makes an amusing opener. I think what I’m getting at is that now we’re moving into autumn, it’s time to dig out that thick knitwear again – but while some men wear it very well, others tend to get it badly wrong.
Look around as the leaves a-tumble and you’ll observe that some men bowl around the place in cosy, high-necked garments, having perfected the style of a rugged fisherman. (See Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson in The Lighthouse.) Others, though, don’t fare so well. They do their best to cut a dash in a nice jumper, but for one reason or another it ends up bearing an unfortunate resemblance to something you might spy in the classroom. Instead of coming across as suave, they put you in mind of little Prince George on his first day of school! I’m telling you, it’s a wild world out there in the knitwear jungle, with plenty of pitfalls. And I should know… I’ve fallen into my fair share of them over the years and expect to fall into many more yet.
I mean, take the wool versus cotton debate to kick things off. Wool is traditionally prized more highly than cotton, but the dastardly moths feel exactly the same way. I used to have a pure wool jumper that was practically my soul mate. It was perfect for me in every way, a United Colours of Benetton, blue-grey crew-neck that had come from a vintage shop at a bargain price. Then, one day, I lifted it out of my drawer to find two gaping great moth holes starting back at me....
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